Heavily Broken
by SammiThatsMe
Summary: Spencer has went off the rails...alot after Ashley brakes up with her. shes pretty much given up on life. love and even caring til someone new comes along. spashley/spencer/kyla
1. Spencer?

ok this is my second fanfic. i have another ''on the edge of safe'' but having a bit of writters block with that at the moment lol. this came into my head and thought i might share it with you all lol 

please let me know if you like it or if its just pooh hehe 

Disclaimer - i own nothing. I'm just writing just for fun. 

SPENCER POV.

here we go. the first day of high school after the summer and what a summer i had, well i what i remember of it. it was the first summer in years that i spent without Ashley and maybe hats why i turned to drink and drugs to help me get through it. i can still hear her voice, the words she said when she left me. after everything, she just ended it so simply. guess that's life for you? i mean yeah if you enjoy a constant pain in your ass then hey your life must be full of smiles, i hate sitting here waiting for glen to get ready, he takes longer than me and I'm the girl! god i cant stop replaying the whole thing in my head, can still hear those words in my head, those words that turned my world into nothing but a mountain of shit ''i just don't feel the way you feel'' what a lovely way to put ''i don't love you anymore or at all'' oh no i tell a lie, she loves me as a best friend, funny she never said that when me would spend days and nights in bed having sex and for the 8 months we were together she was pretty certain i was the only one for her.

hey but I'm guessing it hard to feel something that don't exist, yeah the day i lost Ashley i lost all hope or belief i had in love but can you blame me? she is...was the love of my life, ''Spence lets go.'' i look over and theres glen still mucking bout with his hair, as if hes creating a master piece. 

I'm only in the car for about 10 min before my phone goes off. its a text from Andy. ''hey Spencer i got the good stuff and its just fresh this morning how bout you come over for a quick trip Andy x'' hmm sounds like a plan ''hey glen drop me off at Andy's place. i have to pick up some books i need for today'' Glen gives me one of those -i-know-your-lying- looks but hey whats it to him what i do with my shell of a life? so he drops me off but not before having a quick dig at me ''you better not fuck this year up Spence. its just stupid now'' i just throw him the dagger eyes and walk up to the front door of Andy's house. people need to claim down, yes Andy is a dealer but he is actually a nice guy. he never made me take drugs i asked him to get me them, he is always reminding me that i can stop whenever i want, as far as dealers go he is a pretty damn good one! 

i walk in knowing he'll have already smoking the good stuff and i was right. i walk into his living room and see what? him laying on the floor with one fat ass joint in his hand and a glazed over look on his face ''Spencer babe, sit down have a joint or 9'' he laughs i look over to the arm of the couch and there is a bag full of already rolled joints and they are all as fat as the one hes smoking so i, being the polite girl i am, help myself as i spark up and start smoking it as if its my life support. i feel my mind relaxing, everything seems so mellow and all thoughts of her are gone. finally everythings ok again. Andy puts a nice vodka and cola down next to me before reaching over and putting on so music.

funny thing about drugs and drink, the way they make time seem likes its slowed down but at the same time make it like its went by faster than the speed of light, speaking of lights whats that above my head! ha ha its a small green light, all lighty and small AND GREEN wow..oh oh where are you going? lil green lighty come back. ''Andy catch it catch it!'' he jumps up and look at me ''catch what?'' i must have blacked out after that cause suddenly i was walking up to the main entrance of my school with Andy and some other people ''we..were...are we gooiiinngg?'' i ask full of wonder, a girl wraps her arm round me and kisses my cheek ''to school baby, we got to fight the power! we will not avoid school cause the man says its not right to drink or take drugs!'' she smiles at me and i just burst out laughing. 

we walk along the hall not so much walking, I'm floating and everyones looking at me, i really don't like it. why wont they stop. i feel my heart race and a cold sweat on my head ''ANDY!'' i shout but he's nowhere in sight ''ANDY! FUCKING HELP ME'' i shout again even louder, still he is nowhere near me, i cant see him. i find my locker and sit down on the floor but it doesn't stop the whole hall from spinning, faster and faster. i cant take this. i close my eyes as i lay my head in my lap, i have no idea what was in those joints but its having a killer effect on me. i can still feel the hall spinning, its like being on a round about, even if you close your eyes you can feel yourself spinning. i need someone to stop me spinning. to hold me so I'm not moving. the person to do that though is gone, gone for good. shes not coming back to me ever. 


	2. first day back, joy for Ashley

Disclaimer - i own nothing. its just a story that came into my head. im writing just for fun :

Ashleys POV

god the first day of school has been exactly how i thought it would be so far, boring and full of fake ''I've missed u''s, ''I'm so glad to be back'' with a ''omg my summer was the best ever'' well mines wasn't the best ever infact it was pointless and boring, i hated everyday of it. i spent most of it helping my dad re-do the house for some reason we needed new EVERYTHING. why? i don't know but hey it kept my mind off other things. well that and the one night stand i had at one of Aidan's party's but trust me there was nothing enjoyable about that one, i would have been as well as having sex with my own hand! it was nothing like how it was with Spencer, it was just perfect with her, she knew how to touch me in all t he right ways plus its was more than just sex, it was just...wow. 

guess i got lost in my thoughts cause suddenly I'm laying face down On he ground, my foot got caught on something, nothing could have prepared me for what i was about to see. i had tripped over SPENCER, she was sitting with her head buried in her knees as if she is hiding from the world. ''Spencer?'' i whisper sitting next to her. she looks up at me and her eyes, they look so big and so zoned out. shes not? is she? Spencer wouldn't take drugs! noway! ''ASHLEY?'' she shouts i can smell the vodka off her, she smells like a fucking alki. i put my arm round her and try to get her to stand up cause if i teachers catches her in this state she will be kicked out school for sure. ''Spence what have you taken?'' she cant even look at me shes so out of it.

suddenly some bitch grabs her ''Get your hands off her. shes nothing to do with you'' she has short black hair with small slashes of pink through it, slightly tanned skin and from the look of her body she must work out or something. if it wasn't for the fact she seemed to be a total bitch i would say she was hot. ''yes she is. what is wrong with her? what have you given her!' she gives me a really smug smile ''nothing she didn't want hunny, trust me. I've given her ALOT of things shes wanted'' ok that cuts it, in one swift move i knock that bitch on her ass where she belongs. ''ok Spence come with me, where gonna get you somewhere to lay down'' she pulls away from me ''fuck you ash. ill be fine'' she slowly makes her way to a group of people outside, they all seem to be shouting and stumbling about. clearly drunk. i think about following her but decide against it. 

the rest of the day goes by without any sign of Spencer. not in class. not at lunch. nothing. i cant help but worry. suddenly my phone beeps ''hey end of summer/start of school party Tonight, be there. Kayla xx'' yeah not really what i need but if Spencer's state is anything to go by I'm sure she'll be there...maybe. i know i shouldn't but i start looking through all the texts Spencer sent me, yes i did keep them all but who cares, as i read them i get lost in memories, theres ones from before we broke up then the ones from after, those ones hurt the most to read.

rants, lyrics and just simple ''i miss you and love you'' god why am i such an ass? i mean i was inlove and it didn't scare me. i just wasn't ready.

but the worst was when the texts stopped. just stopped. I'm brought out my thoughts by my phone ringing ''hello?'' ''hey its Kayla I'm coming to pick you up. you ready?'' what! i look over at the clock and I've just spent the last couple hours reading those texts and day dreaming ''um yeah sure'' i say looking for something to throw on ''ok good ill be there soon, we gotta help people set up that cool?'' she asked ''yeah that's cool'' ''ok bye'' and with that the line goes dead. now what to ware. i grab a black tank top and a small skirt, if Spencer's there ill deff catch her attention she loves me in this skirt. i get my make up and hair done just in time for Kayla showing up. ''ok bitch lets get this party started yeah?'' i just look at her ''sure why not'' sorry if i seem a bit of a downer i just saw the love of my life drunk and stoned out her little pretty head not to long ago ''jezz ash dint get to wild the police might get involved'' Kayla smirks sarcastically at me.

when we get to the party only me, Kayla, Aidan and Chelsea are there to get it all fixed up. the joys. dint get me wrong i love hanging with them but things haven't felt the same since me and Spencer broke up, it felt like they scheduled days for each of us ''Tuesday Spencer'' ''Thursday Ashley'' its rather annoying. then again i cant blame them, from the way Spencer acted towards me earlier i think me and her being here would be like twp pissed of poodles in a basket together. its not long til people start showing up but no Spencer as of yet. only person she really talked to every single day was Kayla so she should know if she was planning on crawling in here at any point ''Kayla you spoke to Spencer today?'' i ask sorting some cups out ''uh yeah sis why?'' she smiles at me ''is she coming to the party?'' Kayla looked at the clock then back at me ''yeah well i texted her earlier and she text back saying she would be here at some point'' ''thanks'' i sigh not sure if its a sigh of relief that's shes coming of a sigh of worry about the possibility of her ignoring me completely.


	3. it Ended with a BANG

Disclaimer - i own nothing. writing just for fun. n yeah i have probs spelt some names wrong...sorry : forgive me?

SPENCERS POV.

so earlier was rather freaky. i have no idea what the hell happened though who cares anymore? this might be the drink talking but I'm going to a party tonight to meet someone hot and wanting to have a little fun cause that's what being Young is about! about having fun NOT falling inlove and settling down ''SPENCER C'MON WE'RE LEAVING NOW'' Andy shouts over to me. luckily his friend Denny showed up and is driving us since he isn't drinking or doing drugs tonight. so we all get in the car and make our way ofcourse Andy hands me a joint, now it would be rude of me to say no. well that's what i think ''hey is it two toke pass yeah?'' i say looking round at everyone they all laugh ''Spence who cares now just take what you need and pass it on to whoever you think is hottest in this car'' Denny laughs i take a few more draws making them deep and inhaling it til i have no choice but to exhale that's when i look round and see that everyones so stoned they forget i even have it so hey what the hell ill finish it off.

we pull up to the house the party's at and i get out the car...by that i mean i Fall out and Andy falls right after me, getting up would be easier if we could stop laughing for five minutes so we crawl abit before Denny being the gentleman he is, helps me up ''thanks i don't think i coulda done it alone'' i smile at him, he's not that bad looking tall, blond hair, toned body and green eyes. ''no problem babe. a chick like you shouldn't be down on the ground with the likes of Andy'' he laughs i give him a little smile and make my way in, looking for Kayla if i could remember what it was like to really have a best friend i would say she was mine. now a days anyways.''Spence'' i hear a familiar voice shout over the music '' I'm so glad your here'' the smaller girl smile ''Kayla its a party course i would be here spesh with you here'' i wink back at her, omg what the fuck did i just flirt with with Ashley's little sister? ''well i had a feeling you couldn't keep away from me for to long'' she winks back ok are we flirting? or am i just to stoned to know the difference ''you look hot BTW'' she adds ''thanks you look damn fine yourself'' i can tell shes had a couple drinks already by her hazey eyed expression. 

as the night goes on me and Kayla play many drinking games with Aidan and some people from school or at least i think they are at our school, wait at least i think they are people. OK I'm worrying myself now. i really need to stop smoking weed and drinking all day cause i can not remember how i even got here or if my legs are even still attached. i grab Kayla ''c'mon i wanna go out for a smoke'' i say brushing my lips against her ear ''um...sure...oooookiee'' she says falling on her ass. i lean down next to her ''a lil to much vodka hunni?'' i laugh she burst into fits of laughter as do i ''give me your hand and help me up'' so i do only to be pulled over next to her ''good wheres Denny when i need him'' i say trying to stop laughing. ''ok ok ok Spence we will either haaaaavvvee to crawll or...get up'' she states so we both pull ourselves up and make our way outside ''god that was a trip'' i smile at her, she was really hot and the whole me and ash thing is done and dusted, she said she didn't like me as more than a best friend so why would she care if i was rather attracted to Kayla? ''gah what the fuck is wrong with this damn fag'' i shout cause I'm puffing but getting nowhere Kayla starts laughing like shes just saw the funniest thing ever ''Spence you've lit the wrong end'' 

''fuck why didn't you tell me before'' i say looking at my now wrecked fag.

after a while we head in. what happened in those moments is blank to me. like alot of Tonight actually but hey the nights still young. its only...like 11 or something. as soon as we get in I'm dragged to the dance floor by Kayla ''lets dance woman'' shes smiles but I'm abit shocked considering its a slow song and i really am having a great time with her. i know i shouldn't be but i am. if I'm honest weither its the drugs and booze or just being here with Kayla i haven't thought about Ashley all night.

_The dawn is breaking  
A light shining through  
You're barely waking  
And I'm tangled up in you  
Yeah…_

i rest my arms on her shoulders and give her a small smile. i feel her hands on my hips and we start to sway very slowly to the music. it feels so calming. i look into her eyes but look away before it becomes obv that I'm attracted to her.

_I'm open, you're closed  
Where I follow, you'll go  
I worry I won't see your face  
Light up again  
Even the best fall down sometime  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
I somehow find  
You and I  
Collide_

i feel her pull me closer and her hands hold me tighter, i rest my head on her shoulder. i open my eyes to see Aidan watching us. a look of dis-belief on his face. cant two friends dance without rumor's starting? 

_I'm quiet, you know  
You make a first impression _

But I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind  
Even the best fall down sometime  
Even the stars refuse to shine  
Out of the back you fall in time  
I somehow find  
You and I  
Collide

i shake it off and just focus on the moment. i don't want to forget it as its the first time i have completely shut Ashley out of my mind. i hold Kayla as tight as i can and feel her move her hands so they were touching bare skin on my back, yes she has put her hands up the back on my top slightly and i DONT want to stop her.

_Don't stop here  
I lost my place  
I'm close behind_

''Spence'' she whispers i my ear. i felt her lips gently brush my ear and i couldn't help but gasp ''yeah'' i say lifting my head off her shoulder so I'm looking right into her eyes ''I'm having a really good time tonight...with you'' she smiles abit. i could tell shes was nervous but so am i! i mean its Ashley's little sister! ''I'm having a awesome night to'' i say back. 

_Well even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
You finally find you and I collide  
Finally find you and I collide  
You finally find you and I collide_

suddenly it feels like my heads spinning. she seems to be getting closer. her lips seem to be getting closer to mine. til i feel my lips being pressed against hers. i dunno why but i want this. i want to kiss her back. i lick her bottom lip slightly to gain entrance and she grants it. i feel my tongue against hers. eventually we pull away and just gaze at each other. trying to take in what just happened. when suddenly where brought out our moment by a voice we both know ''WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE EXACTLY?'' Ashley shouted walking in between us.


	4. SORRY

hey sorry people i havent updated...

my laptop is died n i have all the chapters on it so i cant update til its fixededededed

reli sorry.

xxx sammi xxxx


	5. The Partys Over

Disclaimer - i own nothing. writing just for fun

ok thanks to my amazing mummy i have a laptop to write on. yeah she worked her magic hehe. will update alot sooner now, i hope. im working on my spelling and stuff so just bare with me okies please face hehehe. reveiws please. helps keep me motivated.

big thanks to my girlfriend for helping with my spelling and stuff. thank you babe love you billions.

ASHLEY POV

well isn't this just nice. my sister making out with my ex right infront of me! ''well is someone gonna answer me??'' both of them are just looking at me. Spencer has smug smile one her face ''ash chill ok, we're ''friends'' aren't we? shouldn't you be happy i finally got over your sorry ass??'' i can not believe this! ''my little sister Spencer Carlin! didn't know you liked the younger ones!'' oh and i cant forget my oh so dear sister ''and you. MY sister! since when we're you gay?? do you have to take everything that's mine or something?'' Kayla looks at spencer then back at me ''ash im sorry. i dunno what happened ok, its just all the drink and spencer is hot and..and...im just sorry'' i just cant even look at them right now ''come on ash, ill drive you home'' Adien sighs putting his arm on my shoulder ''thanks'' is the only word i can mummble out.

i stand there, staring at them. i want to scream at them. so badly. but any word that comes out my mouth right now would be followed with tears and noway will i, Ashley Davies let anyone see me cry! ''i hope you two are happy'' Adien snaps at the two girls crushing my world as we speak. ''oh yeah im over the moon'' Kayla shouts at him bursting into tears. ''hey what the hell Adian this isn't anything to do with you so stay out of it you fucking ass'' Spencer says walking over to Kayla and hugging her, guess I've been completely replaced by...my little sister. ''it is my business you stupid bitch when your hurting my best friend'' i hear Adian shout, when i turn round he's up in Spencer's face. ''hey back the fuck off hot shot'' some guy pushed him away ''or what??'' god Adien needs to stop. this is great i catch my ex and my sister making out and now my best friends about to get into a fight , Adiens pushing the guy, i wanna stop them but i just am to tired, i wanna cry, i wanna scream. i just wanna get away from here. ''adien stop it'' i scream hoping he will take the hint and get me outta here. suddenly he's knocked to the floor by the blond guy, denny i think his name is. but he isnt down for long cause before i get a chance to run to see if he's ok he's up and about to swing a punch. i dont wanna see this, im outta here. ''OMG SPENCER!!'' wait...thats kayla.

i run back into the room, i see adien, i see denny, wheres spencer?? ''ashley help she wont wake up!!'' kayla crys over to me ''what happened??'' i demand to know. her lip is bleeding, if someone hit her i swear to god ''it was an accident, he moved, he moved, i couldnt stop it. it all happened so fast'' adien repeats over and over ''we gotta get her to the hospital, kayla help me get her to your car, adien you drive'' i say putting her arm round my neck as kayla gets the other. we get her in the car, thats when i notice blood on her forehead ''kayla did she hit her head??'' she just looks at me, tears streaming down her face ''i...i...i think so, there was a coffee table next to her?'' she sobbs ''im so sorry ashley'' she throws that in there like im gonna buy it, well im not.

We finally get to the hospital and get her into a wheelchair, i start pushing it as fast as i can without her falling ''help someone'' i shout as i get to the entrance. Two paramedics run towards me, ''what happened?'' one asks me ''im not sure she hit her head and i think she was punched but i wasnt looking and it all happened and god just get her'' i can feel the tears building up behind my eyes. ''i seen it, she got punched and when she fell im pretty sure she hit her head'' Kayla sobs ''are you her friend?'' the other paramedic asks ''yeah her bestfriend'' she replies as if she actually is. Me and Spencer are bestfriends, she's just a tag along. ''where you with her all night? Did she take anything?'' Kayla thought for a second ''most of the night but she had been drinking and stuff before she even

got to my party. They took her into a room and all we coulddo is sit and wait.

With Kayla may i add. I try not to make any eye contact with her cause i just want tomake sure Spencer is ok, im gonna kill her as soon as i know she's ok ofcourse. I mean i know me and her are over and i was the one who ended it but c'mon my little sister? And my first love? Its just not right.


End file.
